Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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