I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
