You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
