she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
