haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
