last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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