He kissed a someone with a penis
stop calling my apartment porn island.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
