I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
