I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
