Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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