felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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