I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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