No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
