you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
PANTIES FOUND
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