Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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