Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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