I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
