ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
