How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
