We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
