is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
