Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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