when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
