guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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