just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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