I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
