Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
