i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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