Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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