Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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