Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
