I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
