guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
