He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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