Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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