Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
