Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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