My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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