I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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