What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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