cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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