I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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