The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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