How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
