Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
