I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
