You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Mom said you looked used
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
