You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
