This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
