I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
