Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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