It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
