i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
