just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
